Finding Beauty
by ShelbieAnn
Summary: Snape takes a trip to Saudi Arabia during the summer before Hermione's 7th year. Hermione struggles to keep her eating disorder under control long enough to rid the world of the Dark Lord. Snape helps her find beauty and hope.
1. Chapter 1

Inside the Great Hall a low hum could be heard. Friends reunited quietly and paid respects to those who had lost family over the break. With death being spewed all over the front page of every newspaper, hope and happiness seemed bleak.

Hermione took her seat next to Harry, while Ron and Ginny continued their conversation a few seats down the table. Being in their 7th year the trio had seemed to have grown apart. A pang of sadness swelled up in Hermione as she remembered their unofficial parting. While Ron was concerned with food and Quidich, Harry and Hermione focused their attention on the war. It seemed that Ron just couldn't grow up.

The doors of the great hall pulled her from her depressing thoughts with a sight that was sure to shock and awe. In place of excited first years, Severus Snape stood at the entrance. His hair was cut short. A white knitted cap fitted snuggly over his black locks. A simple white thobe matched with a pair of expensive looking brown shoes. That alone had one sixth year falling of his seat in shock. Severus Snape did not wear anything but black. But the thing that stopped Hermione's heart was the smile that was spread across his face. A spark in Hermione shot up her spine. "_Wow." _

Severus made his way to the platform to greet an equally happy headmaster.

"Severus, my boy! Salam Alaykum! " he called out, embracing Severus in a hug.

"Wa Alaykum Salam Headmaster, it's great to see you again." He replied in kind greeting. "We just portkeyed in an hour ago, Noora is setting up the nursery and getting settled."

"Excellent! I hope she can join us latter." Albus gestured to the seat on his left for Severus to take before turning his attention to the students. Dead quiet greeted him. Shocked faces, many with mouths hung wide in disbelief were everywhere. Hermione was torn between smacking herself awake or checking herself into St. Mongo's. That didn't stop the headmaster from starting his welcome speech after the 1st years had been sorted.

"I'm pleased to announce that our very own Severus Snape will be teaching a class on world religion and study this year. His wife will be teaching an electives class for the young ladies who wish to learn more about the culture of the Middle East. Potions will now be taught by Professor Slughorn and Professor Lupin has returned to teach DADA. I hope you all have a wonderful year. Now tuck in and be sure to try the pudding."

Try the pudding, Hermione smiled at that. She was half tempted by it until she looked up at Pansy Parkinson, flipping her hair over her slender shoulder. She would not eat the pudding. She would not.

Back in the common room many students were just starting to get over the shock. Neville came over to sit next to Harry and Hermione on one of the great couches. "What do you think happened to Snape?"

"Professor Snape," Hermione corrected. "And it would seem he's spent time in the east."

"Maybe he got sun poising" Harry snorted.

"I can't believe he has a wife. Who would marry that bat?" Neville said. That was something that was even

"I kind of wish I was a girl, just so I could take her class." Harry paused turning to face Hermione. "Hey Mione, you're a girl!"

"That is so nice of you to notice Harry." It took a few seconds to realize where Harry was going with his outburst. "No. It's my NEWT year, I need to focus."

"Hermione Granger passing up knowledge? The world must be ending!" Neville look scandalized.

"Please Mione! You can take it and tell us all about her." Harry begged. The look in his eyes made her uncomfortable.

"I'll think about it." She responded with a glance across the room at Ron. He currently had Lavender straddling his lap. Pain and regret flourished in her chest mixing with the nagging voice in her head. "I still don't know."

Now Hermione was nothing if not well versed in many cultures. She understood many aspects of the Middle East. But when Professor McGonagall came around to make her times table Harry gave her a pleading look.

"Mss. Granger, it seems you will have to either take Professor and Mrs. Snape's classes or Divination levels one and two." McGonagall said looking down at her notes.

"My I ask why?" Hermione countered with a repulsed look on her face. She couldn't think of anything worse than wasting her time on Snape's class other than two classes on divination.

"Your time turner use has left you without classes to take. You have too many open time slots." She said in a low voice and glanced again at the notes in her hand. "You can take NEWT level Charms, Potions, and Transfigurations. You must have five classes your 7th year."

Grumbling Hermione took her schedule and stared down at her plate. Silence fell between the two friends as Ron sat down a few people away from them.


	2. Chapter 2

Author note:

Okay, so I forgot to attach a note to the beginning last time. This will be Hermione and Snape, however I will not tell you how. You will just have to wait and see.

To address concerned fellow FF readers; I am a Muslim; I understand what we are allowed to do and what is bad for us; I also know using magic is Harram. However, this is my imagination and obviously I enjoy reading about HP and my day dreams include both Islam and HP. Oh and I'm not a scholar, don't quote me, but rather look it up and study it on your own.

Also, It seems that I have lost my Beta do to irreconcilable differences.

Chapter 2

Severus Snape was not a morning person. When his wife woke him up for prayer he nearly bit her head off. It wasn't until he had two cups of coffee that he was even worth talking to. This morning for the couple was just like any other; wake up, pray, sleep until time to start the day. The only difference was Noora wouldn't allow him to go back to sleep.

"Habibi, I'm so scared." Her thick Arab accent spread through the morning air.

"It will be fine, Noora. They are just children." She snuggled into his side and ignored his soothing words.

"But you're not the one that will be in a different culture." Noora grumbled out. "That and I'll be gawked at. That's the opposite of what I want to happen"

"You made the choice to wear the scarf, way before we even met." Severus sat up and threw his legs over the bed. His wife would not allow him to sleep so he started off to the kitchenette to make coffee. "Besides, they will gossip for a few days and be on to another topic. Just let it run its course."

"InshaAllah." She called after him as she went to ready for the day.

Hermione's first class of the day went by in a blur, before she realized she was standing outside the door to Mrs. Snape's class. A large number of girls in her year were lined against the wall, patiently waiting to lay eyes on this mysterious woman. A low hum of nervous activity began to crescendo as the seconds clicked closer to the clandestine figure to be reviled.

The door opened seemingly without a source and the 7th year girls took this as an invitation to enter the class. Hermione didn't get very far in the room when she was startled to a stop by the girls in front of her. Looking around them she could see why. The room was lit by the large windows along each wall. The tables were nowhere to be found, in their place large gold and deep red pillows littered the floor in a large circle. Huge tapestries depicting domed buildings and royal horses covered the small amount of wall that was windowless. A beautiful sent lingered in the air mixing with golden lanterns floating above. At the head of the room found a large black wall with golden Arabic writing.

But what had the girl's attention was Noora, her back to the group she sat looking at the black wall. Her long black hair cascaded down her back in soft waves, pooling on the ground behind her. Professor Snape sat next to her facing the collection of girls.

"Good morning." He began. "I would like to introduce to you Noora Snape."

"Salam." She stood and turned with a large smile on her face to greet the girls. Her long modest robes flowed and kissed the floor as she moved. "My name is Noora, I will have the pleasure of teaching you until I have my child next month, InshaAllah." With this she put a protecting hand on her rather large stomach. "Please take a seat."

Hermione had forgotten she even had feet, when they sprang into action to move her to the front of the circle. Realizing there was no place to set her books she began to feel the anxiety swell in her chest. A rational part of her brain encouraged her to place her bag in her lap.

"We will set in a circle most of the year, as with most Arabic lessons or gatherings." Noora paused thinking of the correct English. "I will ask that you do not explain how I look to people. I wear hijab, the veil; around men except for those I'm related."

Pansy Parkenson's hand shot up like a rocket, "Why?"

"Because it protects me against men who only see me as physical, not mental beauty," She responded turning to her husband to flash a smile. "But we will talk about that later in the year. For now we will break early. Think of any questions you would like to ask me and submit them at the beginning of class Wednesday. Have a wonderful day!"

"Come on Hermione! What is she like?" Harry begged from beside her on their couch in the common room.

"I just told you Harry, she seemed nice." She said with a sigh. "She also asked us not to tell men what she looked like."

"What fun is that?" Asked Ginny as she sat down on Hermione's other side.

"She would like men to see her for her mental beauty, not her physical self." Hermione explained

The portrait door opened and Lavender sauntered into the room. '_I wish I looked like that'_ Hermione thought to herself. _'Maybe if you didn't eat two eggs at breakfast, you wouldn't weigh so much' _the voice in her head replied.

"I really don't understand that. I love looking good, it makes me feel great!" Ginny smiled.

"Hey Gin, do you want to go for a run with me latter, before dinner? I got in the habit over break and now I feel weird without it." Hermione asked.

"Run? Like actually running without needing to? Are you crazy?" Ginny asked appalled. "I only run for food or if someone deadly is chasing me." A laugh broke out from the group.

"If you haven't noticed we are at war, it's good to be in shape." Hermione said and sobered up the group. "You never know when someone might be chasing you."


	3. Chapter 3

Shaking hands gripped the side of the porcelain bowl. Again for the third time that week, Hermione lost control. The voice inside her head was too strong for her to ignore. '_You'll never be good enough'_ it whispers, even now when there is nothing left in her stomach, the voice rages, filling her with regret.

But she knows that soon it will pass. The endorphins of her act will kick in and a sense of relief will wash over her shaking body. In that moment, that relief will be the only thing to matter.

How did she end up like this? Her childhood was normal, besides being picked on for being smart and nerdy. Her family loved her, and not once did her parents say they didn't want her. But over the years little comments filtered in by strangers or even her mom. "Stand up straight so you'll look thinner, pleat your hair it's frizzy". Comments meant to help, but really only fueled by her anxiety caused them to become knifes.

Slowly she pushed herself up from the floor. Still shaking she healed the teeth marks on the back of her hand. Smoothing out her hair, she took a good look in the mirror; puffy eyes, double chin, thick hips… ugly. She couldn't even stand to look at herself, how could someone else?

Turning on the tap she scooped water into her mouth, rinsing four times. Four, what a magical number, everything felt better when she did things in four. Tap her four times, step here four times, count this four times. Four. Four. Four. Four. That's maybe why she was so good at remembering things; she always read a book four times, always did her homework four times.

But she wasn't good. Nothing about what she did to herself was good. She understood that she was killing herself. You needed to eat to be healthy, but she didn't deserve to eat. By starving herself she hopped, in vain, to kill the voice in her head. To prove all the whispers wrong. She would be beautiful, even if it killed her.

The pounding in her ears let her know that she was burning calories, acting like a steady drum to push her further. Ginny was panting beside her, pleading for her to slow down.

"Come on Hermione! It's getting dark out, we should turn back." The red head exclaimed. Sweat beading up on her flushed face.

"We can double back when we reach the forest." The witch smirked, "Just keep going, even if it burns."

"You have a death wish." Ginny giggled but complied.

"I just have an addiction to running!" Hermione joked.

Lying in bed later that night Hermione started counting. Every night was the same. Hands roamed over her thin frame counting each bone, taking a mental inventory of the shape and feel of each one.

Rolling over on her side she felt her joints pop and crack. Every day was getting worse, she couldn't even get comfortable. The hunger in her was growling and gnawing at her. Slipping out of bed she pulled a thin dressing gown over her shorts and tank top. On nights that she couldn't sleep at home she'd drink tea to starve off the hunger enough to fall asleep.

Dreamless sleep was addictive and could stop her heart if she hadn't ate enough that week. That wasn't a risk she was willing to take. She couldn't die until she hit her goal weight. As chilling a thought as that was, she was unaffected. Slipping out of the girl's dorm and out the portrait door, Hermione headed off to the kitchen.

Tickling the peach and opening the door, Hermione congratulated herself for making such good time to the kitchen. Her celebratory praise was soon shot down when she spotted Professor Snape sitting at one of the low tables reading and enjoying some tea. She tried to dunk back out, however a house elf spotted her and had other plans.

"Miss Her-menie!" Dobby's floppy ears flapped in happiness at his guest. "You's is out of beds late. What can Dobby be getting for miss?"

The commotion snapped Severus out of his book alerting and him of a wayward student out of bed. Looking up he noticed hollow looking Ms. Granger haunting the door way. She nearly took the breath right out of his lungs, her dressing gown left very little hidden from sight. Large bones jutted out from beneath the silken garment, the wide tie was pulled all the way in and fastened showing just how little her waist was.

"Miss Granger, Are you alright?" His voice for once was laced with concern. "You look ill, have you eaten today?" The only thought rushing though Hermione's head was '_Oh Merlin, does he know?'_

**Review? It would mean the world! Until next time, I'll try to update again tomorrow. **


	4. Chapter 4

Dear readers,

Forgive me for the long absence; I hope to make it up to you. You see, I've been moving into my new apartment for the past month. Two gas leaks and a water pipe burst latter I am safe and sound. Did you know whooping cough is a real thing? I sure didn't, but I found out all about it this past week. Ugh, being sick sucks!

Anyway, this chapter is going to have a few instances that you should be informed of. As a person who has spent most of her life fighting an eating disorder I've modeled this story from my own experiences. Be advised, it won't be pretty.

Chapter 4

Her heart raced as she fumbled with an excuse to escape. But deep down she knew her pleas would fall on deaf ears. She had seen that look before, when her mother pulled her into the doctor the past year for fainting, she got it in tenfold.

Hermione was so tired she couldn't even think enough of to form a reply to his simple question. Had she eaten today? When days begin to blur, binges start to seem like a constant. She was so raped up in her struggle to determine the correct response, she failed to see Severus stand up and make his way to her.

A warm hand came to rest on her shoulder pulling her from her contemplations.

"Are you okay Miss Granger?" he spoke softly. Almost as if he was afraid she would flee.

"I'm perfectly fine, Professor." She stated with a rush of confidence she didn't feel, pulling back from him as if burnt. A flash of pain, mixed with sympathy, made its way across his face. She was as easy to read as the books she cherished. "I was only venturing down to take a cup of tea." '_God, did she have to sound so pathetic'_ she thought to herself.

"And what makes you think you can frolic down to the kitchens any time you please?" His deep voice waltzed over her skin and washed her bones in chills.

"I'm Head Girl; I have an exception to the curfew rules." She said, but she was starting to drain what little bit of energy she had to spare. She could see the little black spots began to dance into her vision. "Now if you please, I'll be returning to my room."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Back in her rooms Hermione tip toed back to her bed. Pulling the curtains shut, she spied her box. The small brown vessel was placed carefully on her nightstand surrounded by books and perfumes. The box its self wasn't much, being plain in shape and design, many would just pass it over.

But inside the box was a completely different story. Through extension charms Hermione had created her own stockpile of thinspo, emergency diuretics, and punishment methods.

'_We almost got caught.' _the voice rang out in her mind. _'You stupid cow; how could you be so careless?'_ it demanded. Shame and regret coursed through her.

She pulled the box off the nightstand and opened it, one thought on her mind. Reaching for her new pack of blades, she lifted the hem of her shorts reviling her pale, boney leg with the scared over word 'hate' forever etched into her skin. Like a child, following a hand writing pattern book, Hermione slashed into her flesh. Whimpering into the night, she found a moments release from her shame.

BBBBBBBBBB

Noora was sitting on the couch reading when her husband came in with a rush. Seeing a panic on his face, she discarded her book and patted for him to sit next to her.

"What is it Habbibi?" She said in a soft, calm voice.

"Miss Granger, she's in your class, came into the kitchen tonight while I was there." He said, looking into the fire dancing within the hearth. "What do you know about eating disorders?"

"Well," she started "not much, but the name would suggest someone had a disorder relating to eating."

"Correct. And I believe Miss Granger might have an issue with eating. She is from a wealthy, loving family, so I don't suspect mistreatment." Running his hands over his face, he seemed every bit of his age. "If you had only seen her, Noora…" He sighed. "She looked like a stick figure, so hollow she could blow away."

"InshaAllah I will talk to her, just point her out at breakfast." Noora smiled soothing away his worries.

CCCCCCCCCC

"There," Snape pointed out as Hermione made her way through the doors of the great hall. Dark rings around her eyes, highlighted by her protruding cheek bones made her look even more sickly. She wore her school uniform in a larger size to give herself the appearance of bulk. Frizzy hair jutted out of a messy bun, piled on top of her head. It was obvious to anyone looking, Miss Granger had a problem.

Watching carefully the Snape's saw her gracefully sit down next to Harry. She laughed at something the Longbottom boy said and pulled food onto her plate. By distracting the boys she vanished her food little by little, never letting a crumb meet her lips.

"Sev, is she eating?" Noora suggested with a false hope. "Why would she waste her food?"

"No, it seems as if the boys don't realize; she's trying to deceive them. Avoid them finding out." He said looking into his bowl of oats. "We have to help her."

"Yes, Habbibi."

DDDDDDDDDD

On her way to Professor Snape's class Hermione went through her check list. Counting her water intake and the calories she had consumed and purged so far in the week. It was only Tuesday; this week would kill her before it was over. She had tuned out the world around her and walked straight into someone.

When she was sure to hit the floor, strong hands pulled her flat against a toned chest. Opening her eyes she looked into the eyes of her would be savior. Malfoy stared down his pompous nose at her with a sneer on his face.

"Watch where you're going mudblood" He seethed, all the while sliding his hands down her sides.

Struggling to pull away, panic engulfed Hermione. His hands were touching her ugly, disgusting fat. On the verge of hyperventaliting, Harry stepped into save the day.

"Get your slimy hands off her!" he yelled pulling his wand from his pocket.

"You can have her," Malfoy replied. "She has nothing worth touching anyway, isn't that right, moodblood? Too poor to eat, eh? Serves you right, more for the worthy ones."

Before tears could fall down her eyes, she knew she had to flee. Turning on the spot was easy for her body to comply with; her mind on the other hand, was completely useless. As if her brain simply pulled the emergency cord, she fell crashing to the floor.

Darkness encased her.


	5. Chapter 5

**So here is chapter five. Woot! I am greatly disappointed that I haven't gotten many reviews. If you want me to continue with this story please let me know. Also, I have moved back home to care for my sickly father. Which means I will have a lot of time on my hands to write and be bored. Going form the city to a holler ain't easy. **

**The same warning goes and as always, I don't own HP. Wish I did, but I don't. **

Severus Snape sat at the head of the class room waiting for his class to come in. Busying himself with memorizing Quran he almost missed the commotion outside his door.

His brown shoes sent an echo around the room as they hit the ancient stone floor. When he crossed the threshold to his classroom he saw Miss Granger falling to the ground.

Instantly Mr Potter pulled his wand on Mr Malfoy. "What have you done to her, Malfoy?!" he yelled.

"25 points from Gryffindor for yelling in the halls." Severus said in a calm voice as he made his way over to the pale girl on the floor. "Go warn Madam Pompfry we are on our way."

Scooping the girl into his arms he carried her the two floors up to the hospital wing.

AAAAAAAAAA

Hermione felt a throbbing, white hot pain in her head. To her right a sound so beautiful could be heard, pulling her from her slumber.

"Allaahu Akbar..." it echoed around her. It repeated a few times before the deep voice softened and called out "Ashhadu allaa ilaaha illallaah."

Not recognizing the words, and too weak to open her eyes, Hermione allowed the words to flow over her in a calming manner.

When the man calling out "hayya 'alas-salaah" Hermione felt a pull to move in the direction of the voice. Deep within her she felt the tug on her heart, as if saying 'come'.

The voice reverberated power in its quality. Pure power crackled the air around her. As long as she could hear that voice she would be okay.

After a while the voice became quiet, close to a mumble, before ending with "As Salam Alaykum..." twice. At that Hermione's heart nearly dropped out of her chest. She knew that voice. Where did she know that voice? It's important.

Racking her brain didn't prove useful so Hermione gathered the strength to open her eyes. Focusing on the white ceiling of the infirmary, her professor moved into her line of vision.

"Alhumdulelah, you are awake." he said with a big smile on his face.

"Habibi, go get the healer, I wish to speak to Miss Granger." Noora said in a soothing voice.

Noora then proceeded to help Hermione to a comfortable position and hand her a bowl of soup. Taking the bowl Hermione looked at it in disgust.

"My dear heart, you need your strength." She cooed. "I mailed my father about you. You're so beautiful."

At this Hermione grew frustrated. "You do not even know me!" she yelled.

Sitting down in the chair next to her bed Nora calmly replied, "I know you more than you think. I have spent hours reading about conditions like yours."

Condition? What did she think she knew about her condition? There was nothing wrong with her. She didn't have some disease that could be cured.

Anger boiled in her, bubbled up in her chest. Other than replying she just tossed the soup over the bed side and bolted from the room.

BBBBBBBBBB

Harry was sitting in the common room when Hermione busted through the portrait door. Her hospital issued gown clung to her small frame and she looked hollow. But that wasn't far from how Harry felt.

Shrugging off the concern he greeted his best friend, "Bloody hell, what I wouldn't give to have the guts to escape that place."

"Well I saw my chance and made a break for it. I'm fine anyhow, just tired is all." She smiled and plopped down beside him. "Any news about moldy voldy?"

"Other than my night mares getting worse? Not really." He sighed and put his head into his hands. "I really don't think I can hold up much longer. Seeing people killed and mutilated every night... I feel like my soul is tainted." He looked up at her with his big green eyes, pleading for some kind of hope.

"I'm getting sick of this waiting game. We need to do something. The more time we spend sitting about, the more people are killed." Hermione exclaimed.

Ron chose that moment to stagger into the common room, obviously drunk. "Oi, what are you lot doing out here?"

"Not that it is any of your business, Ronald, but we are talking." Hermione spat at him.

"And just who do you think you are?" Ron staggered over to her and lifted his hand. A sickening sound echoed around the room as his hand made contact with her face. "You need to learn your place mudblood."

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Harry jumped up to her defense, placing himself in between them. "Get your sorry arse out of my sight or I'll beat you to a bloody pulp." He practically growled.

The rest of the night was spent trying to calm a crying Hermione and resisting the urge to kill Ron. What a mess.

CCCCCCCCCC

"_You deserved it." _The voice in her head whispered as she laied down that night. _"You deserve much more."_

Sleep was hard to find between the aches in her bones and now the throbbing in her cheek. The bruise was to last for over a week, acting as a constant reminder of 'her place'. Classes went by in a blur and her time in the library increased significantly. Surrounded by books she wasn't tempted to eat and Ron was assured to be absent.

DDDDDDDDDD

November brought with it news for Severus, in the form of a letter at breakfast. His friends from Saudi were looking for a match to be made for a widow. She had two children to care after and no income of her own. Excusing himself from the table he went to search for his wife.

Noora was sitting, as per usual in her latter stages of Pregnancy, in her chair by the fire. Her recitation of Qu'ran faltered when she saw her husband.

"What is on your mind my love?" Noora asked.

"Abdulla sent me an owl this morning. His wife's sister is looking for a match. Her husband passed away a year ago, and her savings are almost out." Severus sat in his own chair, heavy with thought.

"Do you think she would be a good match for our family?" She asked while rubbing her swollen belly.

"I have not met her yet. Plural marriages are not common here, and she has two children of her own." Severus was clearly hesitant to even discuss such a prospect.

"Surely the children are of no concern to you, Severus. You married me when I was already pregnant from my first husband. May Allah grant him peace in his grave." She looked down at the rug, unable to meet his eyes.

"Noora, you know that I love you. You are an amazing, strong woman." He said standing up and walking over to her. After placing a kiss on her forehead he said, "I pray that Allah grants him peace as well."

"You should go and meet her at least. You have my blessing to do what every you feel is the right thing for us." Noora encouraged him. "We have been blessed with the finances to take on another wife. Let us share what Allah has given us."

"I will speak with Albus and ask about separate quarters for her, if she is a match." Sitting down again he offered to make some herbal tea for his wife and enjoyed her company until it was time for classes.

**So up next is going to be exciting. I already have most of that chapter written. I'm so glad to be back home and writing will go much faster now. But I'll lonely post after I get reviews! I love feedback. Anything you think I need to explain or confuses you, let me know and I'll try to work it in. **


	6. Chapter 6

**I sorely underestimated the amount of work that needed to be done at my father's house. I forgot that he was to stubborn to ask for help with chores around the house and left them be because he couldn't do it. Simple things like dusting and mopping were pushed aside. Unfortunately those were minor when you look at the grand scale. I got to spend three hours going through the pantry and cabinets, which is every recovering ED person's nightmare: being surrounded by food and in the same place that brings back memories of binge eating and pain, sucks. Now that I'm done having anxiety from that ordeal I can post this lovely chapter for you.**

**Thank both of my reviewers for the last chapter. And Torry-riddle, enjoy. I do not own HP**

After classes let out for the day Severus went to visit the headmaster. The trip up to the office left him with ample time to contemplate his impending journey.

His wife was due in a matter of weeks, his classes were just getting to a comfortable place, and Miss Granger was obviously ignoring his attempts to meet with her. If it wasn't for his new, calmer self he'd likely go bonkers from the pickle he found himself in.

Bugger

The headmaster was cheerful as ever, sitting in his desk chair, offering lemon drops like a drug dealer.

"Severus, my boy," he greeted with a loving twinkle in his eyes. "What seems to be on your mind?"

Severus nearly snorted. Nothing gets past the Headmaster, the old coot.

"I received a letter this morning about another marriage prospect. She is widowed with children." Severus said in a clam, even voice, seating himself without invitation. Years of visiting Albus had conditioned him to his unique ways.

"Ah, that is quite thought provoking indeed. How is Noora responding to the idea?" The older wizard asked.

"She is actually fine with me taking on another wife. As is custom in most Islamic countries, plural marriages are not really that unheard of." He took a deep breath. "If it's good enough for the Prophet (peace be upon him) than it's good enough for me."

"When will you meet with her family to discuss a possible marriage?" The Headmaster asked, he had clearly taken to reading about Islam. If you were to ask him, he'd be quick to let you know it was purely to understand his favorite employee better.

"I'll leave this Friday and take the week off." Severus said. When did he decide that? Odd, he thought, he hadn't even made up his mind about going yet.

"Well best of luck my dear friend." Albus said leading him to the door. Sometimes he thought Severus only came to visit in order to sort out his thought and come to conclusions.

AAAAAAAAAA

By now Hermione had gotten into a routine. Wake up at 5 go running, take a cold shower by 7, lock herself away in the library except for class times, and every Thursday she convinced Ginny to go running with her.

She planned out everything about her food diary days in advance. Coming back to her room to write her failure in the little white book was too much to handle, proving to be a great motivation. She was down three pounds this week and could feel her body float with joy. This is why she did this to herself. That feeling of light, delicate motion as she walked made her soar.

Her happiness was to be short lived as she walked into Professor Snape's class and saw the notice on the board. "Classes next week are canceled." Canceled? What about her schedule? This couldn't be happening.

Hermione had been doing a spectacular job of blending into the crowd and avoiding both Snape's. But she couldn't stop the adrenaline rush fast enough. A familiar creeping along her skin was her only warning. The roar of her anxiety deafened her ears while the panic attack whaled up in her chest taking the air out of her lungs.

So Hermione did what she did best, she ran. But in her haste she knocked into the heavily pregnant Noora. Un able to focus on anything she failed to notice where she was being led to.

A warm mug of tea pas pressed into her hands and a blanket was drawn up into her lap. Warm leather encompassed her and a soothing hand ran over her curls. The scent of jasmine and warm cardamom filled her senses, relaxing her completely.

Words being spoken to her right started to filter in. "Everything is okay, my dear." Noora whispered.

"Nothing is okay!" Hermione exploded, anger and shame tainting her voice. "I can't eat, or sleep, or even go to class because everything is not okay!"

An understanding passed over her companion on the couch, in a room she had never before seen. "Tell me Hermione, I am here for you." the older witch pleaded.

"You don't even know me." Even Hermione knew she was sounding a bit dramatic.

"I know about you, I've seen more struggle in you than should ever be in a young woman like you." Noora spoke with a reassuring voice. "So explain to me why you can't eat. I will try to understand."

"Were in the middle of a war, no one has time to eat." Hermione said. Even she didn't believe that excuse, and by the look on Noora's face she didn't either. She had been found out.

"Would you like to try that again?" Noora said with a raised eyebrow that reminded Hermione of Snape.

Hermione sighed and ran her hands through her hair, the nagging voice in her mind was screaming at her to cover it up, but she needed to tell someone. She couldn't keep this up much longer. She wanted to live to see the end of the war, but what life would await her if she was just waiting to die anyway.

"I don't know what to say. I just need help." Hermione barely whispered.

**Seems like a good place to stop. I know I'm mean.**

**Also, bit dramatic I know. But once in school my teacher re arranged her room and that sent me into a spectacular panic attack. I don't know why anxiety works like it does.**

**Again I already have started on the next chapter and will post soon. Please review or pm me or something. I love feed back!**


	7. Chapter 7

**So this is a gift for my lovely reviewers. I was gonna wait to post for a few more days, but I do love reviews. Already started on the next one. So... We might have a repeat if you show me love! **

**Obviously I don't own HP. Wish I did.**

Hermione woke a short time after a fit of crying and soothing words by Noora. Warm leather imprinted on her cheek, assaulting her senses with an earthy scent. Hunger gnawed at her ribs, threatening to eat her backbone in protest. Grumping she sat up and took in the room around her.

She was obviously in the Snape's living quarters. Rich green adorned the walls giving hint to Severus's house affiliation. The art work, spread out between massive book shelves done in dark wood, were large silver Arabic calligraphy or pages of text. Two massive windows gave natural light to a quaint reading nook. Besides the couch two wing back chairs in hunter green stood on each side facing each other. A big, chocolate brown rug was spread out in front of a roaring fireplace. The picture above the mantle depicted the happy couple on their wedding day, surrounded by a rustic frame.

Hermione felt an instant feeling of home surround her, safety seeping into her being; Even though her home growing up was completely different. Where the Snape's embraced small knickknacks that added a homey comfort; Hermione's mother would throw them out. Clean lines and modern design so characteristic of people in the medical field were her natural surroundings, but this was so similar to the place she escaped when her mind wouldn't stop assaulting her.

Caught up in her muses, Hermione didn't realize that Severus had come into the sitting room via several arches around the room. He quietly took his seat to her left in his customary chair. Pushing his long fingers into a steeple he contemplated the young woman in front of him. Frizzy hair piled on top of her head, baggy clothing hanging off her small frame, her eyes shining with something he couldn't quite place nearly took his breath away again. How many times now had she pulled the breath from his lungs?

"Miss Granger," he spoke gaining her attention softly. "I've spoken with Noora, she asked me to meet with you." His serious demeanor was tainted by knowledge and trepidation about the following conversation. He was not looking forward to an outburst that could upset her even more.

"I figured she would." She said in a small voice, looking down into her lap. "I don't know what to say."

"Do you believe in God, Miss Granger?" Severus asked the lost younger witch.

Did she believe in God? Being raised by atheist parents she had always viewed religion as something other people got to have. Surely there had to be a higher power she didn't understand, that was responsible for the world around her. If that was God, then she did believe in a God. Which one? She didn't know.

"I believe in something more, but I am at a loss as to what." She replied after a short pause. "My parents are atheist."

"Ah, unbelievers…" Severus drawled drifting off into thought. "If you think about religion as an ever evolving concept throughout history, you will see the similarities in most religions." His voice taking on his lecturing quality that Hermione was all too familiar with. "If you apply that to primitive religions you will see it evolve. The more people understand the more duties they are asked to perform. God is merciful; he wouldn't give someone a burden they couldn't weather."

Taking a pause, Severus allowed that to sink in before continuing on. Religion was like potions for him. He became fascinated and the love blossomed.

"Due to human nature of being deceived by Shataan, or the devil, many religions were led astray from the right path. Then another prophet was sent to lead them back to God." He said. So far this seems fairly plausible. "At first the Jews, led by Abraham (peace be upon him) were guided. Then corruption by human ways filtered in, small at first then growing significantly. It increased to the point of Jesus (peace be upon him) being sent, as a prophet not son of God, to set them back on the right path with his Gospel. Again it happened and God finally sent his last messenger (peace be upon him)."

"And you just believe this why?" Hermione asked in a tone that could be considered sarcastic.

"Scientific proof and signs detailed in the Qu'ran, one just has to search and ask to be guided." He said.

"I don't see how this is helping me get better." she said annoyed. Couldn't she just take a potion or something and forget everything?

"What exactly do you feel that makes you not want to eat?" he asked.

"A mix of things really." she knew she could trust this man; he was her teacher and mentor for almost a decade. But the whispering in her head was protesting her actions. How could she even think she deserved better? Her ED was her life, it was all she had; the only thing she got out of bed for each morning. As sick as she knew that was, she was numbed by it.

"Try to explain, help me understand." he pleaded.

Sighing again she stilled her emotions. "It's a need, Professor. I need to restrict, to have control over everything. I need to lose weight." She stood and walked over to the fireplace putting her head in her hands. "I need to kill this voice in my head yelling all the time." Hermione barely whispered, hoping that he wouldn't really hear.

Unfortunately for her, Severus had very good hearing. He stood up and walked over to her.

"Miss Granger, Shataan whispers to all of us. When we do what's right he tries harder, pushing us to act in a way that is unhealthy. I know that voice all too well Miss Granger."

Somehow, Hermione actually believed that he did. What tortured past did he hide? He had obviously had ghosts that haunted him, but he seemed happy now.

"So what's next?" She asked quietly afraid of all this.

"We take it slow; you can't be helped over night." He said bringing the conversation back to the matter at hand. "But I think a trip will be beneficial to you. I am leaving for Saudi Arabia Friday. I think you should come with me and I'll bring you back Sunday."

**Next up is the trip. So much to do between packing and actually getting there. What part of Saudi do you think they should visit? **


	8. Chapter 8

**So… Long time… I know, I know. But my brother just got a new job four hours away and I've been busy helping him. I just got back a few days ago and I've been sick. Excuses aside, I might have relapsed once or twice while I was gone. That's probably why I'm so sick now. I can hardly talk, ugh. So I post this and I'll go "take to the bed" (One of my new phrases). **

**To address many questions, Yes Hermione and Snape will get together. I hope to have them to that point in the next 3 or so chapters. How you ask? You'll just have to wait and see. And since I've been gone so long, I give you this at just over 2,000 words. Almost double my normal post length. I'm happily typing away on the next one. **

**Again, I do not own HP. If I did, I wouldn't be poor. In the meantime I'll just dream I own them. **

**Rated M for a reason. **

Hermione listened closely to Noora's direction as she sat in the Snapes' ample walk in closet, before the dressing table and mirror. The abaya encased her boney shoulders in black then flowing down to her feet. On her wrists a dark gray pattern was the only hint at anything other than black. She flapped her arms and was thrilled by the way the fabric resembled the bat wing look that Noora had called it.

"After pinning the scarf under your chin you have many options." Noora said pulling her back to the matter at hand. "As long as you are covered, it doesn't much matter how you wrap it. I bring it around twice and I am sure to fold pleats into it as I go. That way when you pin it, it is more secure." Not for the first time did Hermione fill out of her element. Pleats, abaya, and pins; she would never get it.

"Why don't you cover your face?" Hermione asked in genuine curiosity. All the pictures she had researched showed women in big blue sheets that enveloped everything. She wondered how they even managed to see through the sheer material covering their eyes.

"The passage tells us to pull our veil around us, only showing what is necessary, so that we are known as believers and not harmed by unlawful looks and touches. When asked about exactly what a woman should cover, it was narrated that the blessed Prophet (peace be upon him) pointed to the face and hands. Some people take the translation to mean that only seeing is necessary, so they cover their face. I believe that we should all strive to be modest, I'm just not comfortable enough for Niqab." A pensive look came across her face, as she fiddled with her tin of pins.

"Oh," Hermione said. "I'm still afraid. I don't know what to expect."

"I've lived in Saudi my whole life. I'm used to our laws and customs, but if you have any problems seek out Severus and he will make sure you are all right." Humming to herself she started packing in a few scars into a bag for Hermione's journey.

"I wish you were coming with us." Hermione said quietly, playing with the black scarf on her head, failing to get it to lay flat like Noora had it. A soft laugh was her reply. Noora walked behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder, meeting her gaze in the mirror.

"As do I, but I am to so close to my due date to be traveling. I need to stay and rest." Noora said. "Zara and Humza will be there at your call. Zara spent many months learning Qur'an and will be able to answer any of your questions."

"I'm still afraid I can't do this. I'm not as strong as you." Hermione muttered.

"Just ask to be guided, protected, and healed." Noora advised. "Allah wants you to ask for anything and everything."

And that night while Hermione laid in bed, begging for sleep, she did just that, her plea filtered out into the still night of her room.

oOOo

Eventually the slumber of night gave way to the rupture of morning light. Like a lamb being lead to slaughter Hermione pulled herself from the bed at the presence of Snape's patronus. Today's the day. She thought, as she prepared the rest of her things.

Hermione had to come to grips with that though even more when she pulled the abaya over her head. Her fingers running over expanse of black felt desperately for her bones. Her companions and best friends were hid by the shapeless fabric. Her starving seemed in vain when the whole world wouldn't be able to see her bones. But did she want them to? Not really, she was a failure, she ate, and she was fat. At the same time she wanted to cling to the abaya because she didn't have to be self-conscious, no one could see her pudgy stomach.

After a deep breath Hermione pulled her massive curls into a hair tie. Then following the instruction that Noora gave her, she put on her scarf. The girl looking back at her didn't look like the malnourished girl she was used to. Sometime later she made her way out the portrait door to her destination.

Severus was pacing in front of the old doors when Hermione turned the last flight of stairs. By this point his white Thobe was common place to her. She had almost forgotten he used to wear black all the time. What she wasn't used to however, it was the hat he was wearing that caught her by surprise. Odd that he would chose to wear a white and red checkered scarf on his head. It seemed to be secured with a black rope, which matched his black leather shoes.

She greeted him with a look that failed to express the vast amount of feelings she was experiencing: sadness, happiness, hope, fear, and anticipation. The older wizard remained quiet, giving her a small smile and nod as they ventured out into the expansive grounds. The brisk morning air chilled her to the bone.

She hated winter. The snow was beautiful to look at, but she was always so cold. The chill that lingered around her was enough to bother her during the summer. Winter was the worst.

Caught up in her own thoughts she didn't speak to Snape. The only sound that could be heard was their feet falling on the ground. Granted he was a little relieved by that. He was tired and cranky. It'd been a rough night with Noora complaining about Braxton hicks and mini-contractions, he only had one cup of coffee. When they neared the gates he broke the silence.

"Miss Granger, I'm sure you understand basic apparation." He said softly. "Unfortunately we cannot apparate long distances. That is why we must us a port key to travel to my home in Saudi."

"What part of Saudi will we be going, Professor?" She asked.

"I have a home in Medina. It's the place the Prophet, peace be upon him, settled when he left Mecca." He replied, pulling a small plastic cup from a hidden pocket at the side of his Thobe. "Grab hold Miss Granger." After they both had a firm grasp he taped the object with his wand pulling them into the air.

oOOo

Landing on her feet, Hermione was shocked by the house in front of her. Huge would be an understatement. Big white walls flowed into the beautiful blue sky like silk on water. Despite her heavy abaya, she was not hot in the least.

"This home was given to me by Noora's father as a wedding gift." Severus said as he made his way towards the house. "You will be staying in the guest's room next to my own. We are two hours ahead of Scotland, so that puts local time around 11am. Prayer is at 1:50pm and I will be leaving no later than 1pm. If you wish to come and experience it, I will ask Zara to accompany you as I will pray with the men."

Digesting all this information Hermione nodded her head like an over achieving 1st year. A calming peace descended on her, the closer she walked to front door. Subsequently every step following her entrance, all the way to the back of the house and up the stairs had the same effect.

Odd.

oOOo

Zara was Pakistani and had beauty beyond compare. Her bright blue eyes and long black hair nearly took Hermione's breath away. But when Hermione commented on it, she just brushed it off and said that Allah had made everyone beautiful in their own way. '_So humble,'_ Hermione thought.

When time for prayer was at hand, Zara helped Hermione into a white abaya and scarf.

"We will be going into Mecca for prayer at the Kabba." Zara said in a heavy accent. "Now, Mecca is reserved for believers as it is a holy city. You are expected to pray the prayer alongside the other sisters." When Zara noticed the look of fear on her face, she quickly said, "Don't worry. Just follow along with me. The next prayer, around dinner, I will have Mr. Snape explain it to you in detail. Or my husband Humza can, he is really good at translation."

"I will try." Hermione meekly replied.

Prayer at the Kabba is something Hermione will never forget. The pull she felt to be closer to the house of God, built by Abraham (peace and blessing be upon him), was enough to make her cry tears of joy. Following through the motions alongside thousands of people and pressing her face to the humming earth made her very body tremble. For once the voice in her head was gone, nowhere to be found.

oOOo

At dinner Severus explained in detail the movements of prayer.

"You are submitting yourself to the will of Allah, you bend to his will, and you bow down to his will." He said matter of factly. "The Arabic is a bit difficult to say and understand, but I'll give you the translations to review."

Hermione pushed her food around her plate; she always hated eating in front of people. The food looked healthy and appetizing, but she waited on baited breath for the voice to jump back into her head.

"It won't bite you back." The older wizard smirked at her with humor dancing in his eyes. "Try to eat some; I don't expect you to eat all of it."

She brought a small morsel up to her mouth with a shaking hand. After eating it she felt sick. "May I be excused?" She asked. Dread and fear pulsed into her stomach, threatening to push the food back up.

"Yes, but meet me in my study when you have composed yourself." He said with a smile, turning his attention to his servants seated at both sides of him.

Purging that small bite of Tabouli was embarrassing and upset her more than any other time she could remember. Before her disgrace had been her own, but this time he was aware of her lapse.

oOOo

"Come in." came the reply when Hermione knocked on his door. "Ah Miss Granger, please have a seat."

"I'm sorry, Professor." She said, shame coloring her voice and translating into her body language. She stood before his large desk, hands behind her back and head bowed down. "I really couldn't help it."

"Oh dear woman, I am not upset with you." He said, coming around to lean against his desk in front of her. "I am not naive to believe that you can just stop yourself. You've had your eating disorder for a very long time." His kind words did little to stop the flow of humiliation coursing through her. He had still known what she raced up the stairs to do. "I wanted to ask you how today went for you."

Smiling she remembered the feeling of Mecca. "It was amazing, sir." She said. "I have never felt anything like it."

"Excellent. I can honestly say I know exactly what you mean. When I first came here, it was to collect information for Albus." He said running a hand along his jaw. "I was overwhelmed by the beauty of everything. I looked into Islam and soon converted. When I took my Shahadah, my connection to the Dark Lord was broken. I became a free man." At this he lifted up his sleeve and showed her the milky white flesh that used to bear the dark mark.

"That is amazing, Professor." Hermione breathed, wondering if her eyes were deceiving her. She had read about the dark mark and knew that the only magic to break the binding would be Voldemort's death.

"We are not in school Miss Granger, you may call me Severus." He said startling her. "Now tomorrow I will go visit the family of a possible spouse, you can stay here or go to market with Zara."

oOOo

**So here it is. Again I apologize. Reviews make me happy. Oh so happy. I won't beg and grovel for more reviews, but I greatly appreciate them. Or you could just pm me if you'd rather.**

**Ps. I am looking for a beta. Anyone interested need only to PM me. 3**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello lovelies. I know, I know. No excuses could be made other than I've been a mess. Relapsing isn't easy on anyone, and I'm not naive to believe that I will ever be completely cured. I will fall short, but I have the power to pick myself back up and keep going. Please keep me in your prayers and Dua. I could really use them. **

**Thank you to everyone that reviewed the last chapter. Please keep them up. They give me the encouragement to keep it up. **

Meeting the possible wife, he knew instantly that he would not be compatible for her. Even after talking with her about their expectations for marriage, they still didn't get along like he had hoped. He explained that he worked at a boarding school for gifted students and was required to live there. She was looking to stay in Saudi Arabia.

Granted she was absolutely beautiful, Severus didn't give much thought to looks. Beauty fades, money gets spent, health fails, status falters, and you're only left with the person deep down. He could tell this sister was far too concerned with designer labels and things of this world.

Cutting his losses and giving her family an apology, Severus returned home. The sound of laughter and mirth lead him upstairs to the guest room. The door set open and happy Bollywood music flowed out. Hermione sat upon her bed, cross legged, with her hand in Zara's lap. Both girls were dressed in Pakistani, deep red dresses with dupatta's (covered in gold beading) resting on their large hair buns, and laughing at the designs Zara was painting with Henna paste on Hermione's pale skin.

Hermione's big golden eyes shined and for once she looked healthy. A rosy blush came upon her cheeks when Zara's conversation embarrassed her. _What in the world could they be talking about?_ He thought. Too caught up in conversations they didn't notice him lingering in the door way.

"Are you girls having fun?" He asked surprising them. Hermione looked up, eyes sparkling with happiness.

"Oh yes! How did your meeting go?" She asked.

"Alas, I doubt Noora will have a sister wife after all. We wanted different things from a union that are not compatible." He said. "Since I don't have to worry about it, I'll be going back to Scotland with you tomorrow after dinner."

"It's time to leave already?" Hermione asked. "Time has surely flown bye."

"That it has, that it has." He tisked as he made his leave.

oOOo

"I told you, Hermione, he is handsome. If I wasn't married to Humza I'd be falling in line to be his wife." Zara said with a wicked smile.

"He is my professor, Zara." Hermione said scandalized, when deep down even she was attracted to the ex git of the dungeons. More than that, she craved the peace he radiated. A light glow seemed to encompass him and drawled her closer to him.

"That is a title that will only last for the rest of the year…" Was Zara's reply.

oOOo

Stepping back into Hogwarts was a bit of a different feeling. While the pleasant hum in the ground she had grew accustomed to disappeared, she felt like she was home again. Instead of departing from Severus's company she walked with him to his rooms, under the pretense that she was going to talk to Noora.

"Habibti! How was the trip?" Noora greeted her as soon as she stepped through the archway into the sitting room.

"It was great, I have a brilliant time." She replied with a bitter sweet sadness. She couldn't justify spending time with Severus lounging about his study, asking any questions that popped into her head. A calm peace grew in her the more knowledge she gained about Islam.

"I'm glad you both came back. I suspect tonight is the night." She said rubbing her swollen stomach. "I've been having contractions all day."

"That's wonderful!" Severus piped up from his chair in the corner. "Let us pray and I'll walk you up to the hospital wing."

"I'd offer Hermione a scarf, but she hasn't even taken hers off yet." Noora joked good-naturedly as they all three moved to the prayer section of the living space.

"I have grown to really like it; less stress about my hair or matching an outfit together." Noora gave her a knowing smile and turned her attention to Mecca and her prayer.

The last thing Hermione noticed, before devoting herself to God as well, was how beautiful Severus called out the Adhan.

oOOo

Felling like the third wheel, she took her leave when the couple made their way to the hospital wing. She walked up to the Common room to talk to Harry. She had a lot of confusing thoughts playing through her head. Harry was always good at helping her see what her oversized brain failed to see, the obvious.

Expecting to see Harry's face, she was surprised to see only Ron sitting in the Common room. He was inebriated and slouched over the chair arm. Fearing waking him, she tiptoed to the stair case. However she was not quite enough or fast enough.

Ron jerked from his slumber and looked around the room. Fear installed in her, freezing her in place with one foot on the stair case. "_Don't be a pansy, Hermione. You have the power to protect yourself."_ A completely different voice spoke in her head, sounding much like Severus.

"Come home, did you slut?" Ron smirked. "What the hell are you wearing? Hoping to cover that fat arse up? Well no you look even bigger." He pushed himself up and started to stagger towards her.

"What is wrong with you, Ron? We used to be friends." She said in a quiet voice.

"That was until you lot decided I wasn't worth your time. You think I wouldn't have other friends? I'm a pure blood; I almost sullied my name by being your friend." He let out a small laugh at that. "Thanks to the dark lord I can now fully embrace my true place in this world…," His pause put fear directly into her blood. "And my place is over whores like you."

At this he lunged forward grabbing her shoulders and pushing her against the wall. Hunger and greed reflected in his eyes and she feared he would kill her.

She started crying out and yelling. No one was coming to her aid. She clutched at his wrists as his hands circled her neck and squeezed. At the last moment she believed she would die at the hands of her ex best friend. Worst of all, she would die without taking her Shahadah. A burst of light shot out from her chest and threw Ron into a crumpled heap on the ground.

She fell to her knees and gulped air into her lungs, wrapping her arms around her she gave thanks to Allah for protecting her, for it was only him that could have shielded her from Ron. Still with tears in her eyes and hands wrapped about her, she took her Shahadah. Shakily the words fell off her lips like she was a native Arab.

"Esh-Hadu Ina La E-LaHa illa Allah, Wa Esh-Hadu Ina Mohammad Rasoul Allah." She repeated it until Harry came through the Portrait hole and took her into his arms and away from the still unconscious Ron. Heading to the hospital wing then dropping her on a bed next to Noora.

oOOo

Harry, the best friend he was, called for the headmaster and extracted her memory about Ron.

"It's just as I feared," The headmaster said after a time. "Ron has crossed over to the dark."

Hermione's sobs continued, but these were tears of joy and happiness. It didn't matter what Ron did or even who he was. She had taken the step to accept Allah in her life. Now that glow was around her; that peace deep within her very soul. She looked over to Noora with a happy smile plastered on her face.

"I took my Shahadah." She said.

"SubannaAllah." Noora breathed in a low voice. "Severus!" She called out. "Hermione took her Shahadah!"

A shocked Severus looked up from his thoughts. When he met Hermione's eyes an understanding flooded his eyes.

"Congratulations Miss Granger." He said with a smile that nearly took her breath away.

**So here it is. I'm excited to finally be getting into the heart of this story. I stopped here because the next chapter is one of the most important. I hope to have it up tonight as well. Please review. **


	10. Chapter 10

**I give a strong warning for this one guys. Seriously, this one is gonna be quite dark and graphic. I had hoped to push these events back a while, but I'm anxious to get the plot really rolling. We still aren't even halfway through our journey together. **

**There are a few things I need to clarify. 1. Hermione just spent a weekend in Mecca, She's going to experience Islam first hand on a level that is truly earth moving. So it would make since that, after she had her questions answered, she'd convert. 2. The Shahadah is the phrase that declares you believe in God and his messengers (pbut) it appears in the prayer and the Adhan, so by that point she'd have known it, at least I did. **

**Hopefully you don't hate me for this one. But Even the worst can happen to even believers. But our sorrow is for a reason, even if we don't understand it.**

"Are you worried?" Hermione asked some time later, after everyone had left to deal with Ron.

Noora seemed to think deeply about it or perhaps she was just stifling another contraction. After a time she spoke.

"I am worried. I'd be lying if I told you any different. I've forwent any potions for the pain. I want my son to be brought in this world as is Allah's will." Noora said. "I pray that I am protected and guided. If anything would happen, then it is His will and I submit to his will."

"But he answers those who call on him, you told me that yourself." Hermione said in disbelief that she would even consider something bad happening.

"We are not granted our next breath, my dear. We must live our lives like we will die any second." Noora's soothing words worked their magic at calming her companion.

oOOo

Hours passed and it was time to start pushing. Madam Pomfrey set up her work space and talked Noora through her first delivery. Severus was at his wife's be side holding fast to her hand and smoothing her hair from her face. Hermione was transfixed on the wonders of world before her eyes.

No one noticed when blood seeped out onto the floor faster than Madam Pomfrey could control it. A startled yell and command from the older witch pulled Severus's attention.

"Get over here Severus. We need blood replenishing potions and I need an extra hand." She said, worry tainting her words. "Noora, stop pushing and lay back; were going to have to pull him out. Your uterine wall has ripped, but it's going to be alright."

Hermione could tell by the amount of blood coating the nurse's dress, everything wasn't going to be alright. Her worst fears had been realized when she noticed Noora's eyes drop closed and her breathing still. Madam Pomfrey cursed and started working harder. At the use of vulgar language, Severus took his eyes off his measuring and saw his wife.

Complete fear crossed his face as he couldn't believe his eyes. Thinking the worst he fell to his knees and cried out to her. "Noora, Noora!" The haggard sound of sobs rang throughout the room, compelling Hermione to jump into action. She grabbed the vials out of his hand and poured the potion between Noora's slacked lips, then moving down to assist Madam Pomfrey in any way she could. It was obvious by that point, Noora was deceased as she quit bleeding and wasn't moving at all. The older witch pulled Noora's gown up and exposed her stomach. A quick flick of her wand caused a gash to appear at the bottom of her swollen belly.

"Miss Granger, prepare to receive the child when I pull him free." She said, and without hesitation she pulled deathly pale skin back, slashing her way into Noora's womb. Her hands hosted a small baby out, covered in blood and fluid, and passed him to Hermione's awaiting, blanket covered arms. His small cry filled the air and mixed with the sobs of his father. But all Hermione could focus on was this beautiful baby lying in her arms. The world, and death around her, disappeared.

It was some time after that, that Madam Pomfrey stopped working on Noora. Pulling a sheet over her, she walked over to the irrational Severus. Putting a light hand on his shoulder, her own tears fell.

"I've done everything I can, Severus. I am truly sorry. She had a tare form, and I couldn't do anything to stop it." She said solemnly. "But you need to pick yourself up. You have a healthy, beautiful son to care for. Be strong my boy."

At this Severus pulled himself together and looked around until he saw Hermione cradling his son against her chest, crying as well. He racked his brain for some guidance on what to do. He was at a loss at how to proceed with his wife, but he knew his role as a new father. Pushing his self off the floor he went over to his son.

Taking him in his arms he turned toward Mecca and whispered the Adhan into his ear, just as he was instructed by Noora's father months earlier. He took comfort in the fact the call to submit to his Lord would be the first thing his son heard. The heart break that filled his voice was overshadowed by glory of God that seemed to crackle the air around them.

oOOo

Hermione sat in the Snape's private rooms waiting on Servers to return. He had left her in charge of his son, Muhammad, while he went to retrieve Noora's parents to take her body back to her birth place. An intricate process of washing the body and prayer needed to take place before she could be returned to the earth. All of which needed to happen within the allotted time. She held the baby close to her for fear he'd leave her just as his mother had. Lost in her musings she was surprised to see the Headmaster walk into the room.

"Miss Granger. I thank you for talking you time to be there for Severus." He said taking Severus's chair. "I just left the hospital wings. He is not responding well. But Noora's parents are going to call him when the time comes for his services."

"I will watch Muhammad while he's gone. It's the least I can do. Noora was a dear friend to me." Her voice broke with unshed tears.

"On his behalf I thank you Miss Granger. He is going to be in a bad way for some time. It's hard to lose someone you love, even harder to pick up the pieces. But he's a good man; he will come around for the child." He said as he settled into the chair, obviously waiting for Severus's return.

"Headmaster," She said, catching his attention. "I know why you wouldn't let me have my own rooms, believe me; I didn't need to be alone. But I'm much better now, and I'd like to have them so I can be close to Professor Snape if he needs help with Muhammad."

"That can be arranged my dear girl. You are truly a wonder. How you can hold it together after everything that you've experience over the past few hours, it amazes me." He commended.

"It is the will of Allah for all things that come to pass, happen for a reason. Noora told me that shortly before she passed. We are not guaranteed our next breath." Hermione said.

**Okay. Don't attack me. I understand some of you really liked Noora, but her passing was for a reason. For that reason I am working on the next chapter and hopefully can get it out soon, that way you guys are not left depressed. Love your feedback. Even if it's hate mail for this one. **

**p.s. I take prayers from Christians, because we believe you to also be believers. Your considered believers of the book, and our holey Qur'an says those of you who strive for the good and seek him will be accounted among the believers. And Allah (the Arab word for God, used by many Christians and Jews) hears everyone's prayers. So my advice to all my non-Muslim friends, Strive to be good and do good. The things we have in common are more important than the things that separate us. :)**

**p.s.s. I could really use a Beta reader… **


	11. Chapter 11

**So glad you decided to come back. I hope you have forgiven me for the last chapter. Happy, glittery sunshine is still a few chapters off but we will be pulling ourselves out of this darkness shortly.**

**So tuck in and get comfy, and I'll start part three of our one night upload. Three in one night? That deserves some reviews, don't cha think? **

A cry pulled Hermione from her slumber. _Two a.m. _She thought with a moan.

The past few weeks had been rough on everyone. The gossip had been the worst. The children had taken to fearing Severus again. Even on top of that, Hermione was being harassed by the death eater wanna-be's that accused her of helping Snape kill his wife so she would step in. Ron had been expelled, which also didn't set well with the Weasley's. Ginny soon broke it off with Harry claiming he was choosing his friend over her and her family.

All of that aside, Hermione (with a small amount of help form Harry, mostly moral support and dealing with rumors) had taken to caring for both Severus and his son.

oOOo

Her spell to alert her of the baby waking up, canceled it's self as Severus went to answer it. She nearly knocked into him in her haste to sooth Muhammad. Stunned to see him up and about, Hermione let him ahead of her so he could care for his son.

The sight of Severus Snape holding a small baby and rocking him could bring tears to her eyes. He was so strong. While he didn't love Noora in the traditional sense, he still loved her and her son. Even though he wasn't technically his biological father, he was all he had.

Muhammad had inherited his mother's hair and his father's bright blue eyes. Severus had never met him, but Noora's mother had taken particular delight in that feature when she came to visit. His features were sure to change, as all children do. But Severus loved him more than air, and that was enough.

oOOo

December came and they had fallen into a system. Hermione changed nappies, went to class, and fed Muhammad. Severus soothed him back to sleep after knips and bathed him. Any time he went to change him; he'd end up with a splitting headache and a screaming child he couldn't sooth. So between Hermione and house elves, he felt blessed, he would likely have jumped off the astronomy tower a long time ago otherwise.

So by the time the Christmas holidays came around, Hermione was well versed in child care and Islam. She wrote her parents and told them to go ahead on their annual trip; she was going to stay at the castle to help Severus.

It was weird to see the Christmas decorations and not hold the same meaning to her as they did before. It was to just be a celebration of winter and the time Allah let the earth sleep. The green trees were to bring in some life to the white cold. But it was true; Christmas would never be the same.

oOOo

Severus had a long talk with Albus two days before Christmas day. Muhammad was just a few weeks old still, but he needed to think about finding a new wife. His son needed a mother and it wasn't right to let Miss Granger be used as slave labor.

But Severus found it difficult to entertain the thought of her not being in and out of his chambers. Her face was a welcome one whenever she stopped by between classes to check on Muhammad. She was so kind to help out as much as she could and anyone could realize she loved Muhammad. But he couldn't consider her as a wife. She was his student, twenty years his Jr, and incredibly beautiful.

When he discussed it with Albus, Severus left with the intention to at least ask Hermione if she would be opposed to it. How did Albus always do that? Make him come to decisions he wasn't even sure of?

oOOo

No matter how sure he was, he couldn't get up the nerve to ask her. They had an odd relationship. They would talk from time to time; about little things mostly: the weather, Muhammad, Islam, her parents, her goals, his research, etc. But they had never talked about a relationship beyond what they had. Heck, they hadn't even talked about the relationship they did have. It's just like she knew what he required and stepped up to fill the need.

So he concocted a plan. Buy her something for taking such good care of Muhammad, and then broach the topic. After settling Muhammad with a house elf, he set off on his way to Hogsmead to do just that.

Once there however he couldn't think of anything to get the girl. Money was no issue for him. He was well off due to his late uncle passing away, ending the Prince line and dumping all the vaults in the Prince name on him; nearly knocked him sideways when he looked at his bank statement. Mind you, the people walking around the street almost had a heart attack when they saw _The_ Professor Snape smiling like an idiot at the thought. Which, that just made him smile even more.

A string of pops surrounding him pulled him from his musings. Black flowing cloaked figures all pointed their wand at him. Not to be out matched, even by his old friends, he Apparated in a split second to spare to the roof top on the building overlooking the street. The stunners flew across the circle hitting the person across from each death eater. Popping back down, Severus removed their masks and called the Ministry to pick them up.

"Oh what a joy!" he exclaimed. "This makes for a wonderful Christmas gift. Not one, but all the Dark Lords inner circle. Let me guess, he sent you because the other ones are too stupid to outsmart me? Well, looks like you have failed regardless." He laughed into the cold December air.

Looking down at the death eater at his feet he noticed just who it was. Antonin Dolohov. Thinking quickly Severus scooped up his mask and concealed it in his robes. He knew in graphic detail about the tugs run in with his Hermione in the department of mysteries. His mask would represent his capture and hopefully please Hermione. Wait, when did he start calling her _his _Hermione?

oOOo

Christmas morning found a very tired Hermione changing yet anther nappy. She couldn't complain her life was amazing each moment she spent with the little boy. She was surprised when she put him back down for a few more hours of sleep, to find Severus standing at the door.

"Merry Christmas, Hermione. I know it must be difficult, I even find it so." He said softly as to not wake up Muhammad.

"Merry Christmas, Severus. I feel the same; it's so weird that this day no longer holds as much meaning." She replied.

"Would you mind if we talked for a bit?" He asked, suddenly self-conscious.

"I would love to." She said making her way past him into the sitting room and to her new chair (she sat there in memory of Noora, a way to keep her memory alive), all thought of fatigue gone from her mind.

"I have been thinking, Hermione. I can never repay you for how kind you have been to me and Muhammad." At this he pulled a medium sized box of the shelf and handed it to her, before taking his normal seat. "I wanted to get you something special to at least try to repay you for your compassion."

Pulling the black bow off the plain black box her heart leapt up in her chest. The same mask she had nightmares about was laid in a dark satin shadow box. The white stood out against the black and she just gawked at it. _How had he gotten his hands on it?_ She thought. Without needing to read her mind he started retelling the story of his trip to Hogsmead. At the conclusion of the story Hermione started crying. Joy filled her as she realized justice for the scars she had to bare had been given.

"Severus, this is the best gift anyone has ever given me. You have no idea how much it means to me that he was captured." She said whipping the tears from her eyes.

"I figured as much. When he was dragged in bleeding I viewed his memoires. I was very proud of you, you are quite the fighter." He told her passing her his handkerchief. "Did you see the other part?"

Looking back down into the box she noticed a smaller box, about the size of an earring box.

**Eeep! What could it be?! **

**I know I'm mean, but alas you still love me. Or at least I hope you are fond of me. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry, Sorry, Sorry. I know. I'm awful. I've had a lot of things happen lately. Between my trip to Iraqi-Kurdistan and my forced engagement, Fun at the U.S. Consulate, Typhoid fever, job search, and relapse… you could say I've been busy. Don't fret, I'm doing much better. **

**I worked on this chapter while I was getting treatment, so be warned. It is a bit dark and overly graphic. But hey! This is a story about an eating disorder based on my life. I promise my life isn't rainbows and sunshine. **

Hermione sat on the lush rug in front of a roaring fire, toying with the beautiful charms attached to her dainty wrist. Each charm represented her struggle and mile markers she had passed. Severus had gotten a small red ribbon to start her journey, books and her other favorite objects, leading up to a little foot print with Muhammad's name engraved into it. It's funny how life can just sneak up on you.

With a content smile, she pulled her school things back into her bag. How wonderful he was, buying her sentimental gifts and making her feel important. She finished just in time for Severus to burst through the door looking exactly like the picture she remembered as a first year. The very air around him crackled with electricity, anger balling his hands into fists. Hermione tried to call out to him, but he was deafened to her plea, slamming the door to his room behind him.

With a haggard breath, Hermione felt as if her very heart twisted into anguish. She fled from the room, blindly finding the portrait to her quarters down the hall. Mumbling a password gave her entrance into her safe haven. How could she have been so stupid? Everything was going great; she was happy and felt a connection to this man and his child. How could she have let herself come this far? Her bathroom shouted her name like an old friend.

Hermione didn't need the voice in her head calling her to her reserved spot on the floor. Knees hit the white tile before her brain even began to crave release. The pain in her heart nearly suffocated the breath she struggled to suck into her lungs. Blurry eyes revealed shaking hands digging their way into her mouth; blood flowed freely from her wrists and legs, on to the ground around her, all care long abandoned.

Is this what relapse feels like? She vaguely wondered, but that thought was cut short by the need for greater release. To long the demon inside her had been ignored. It grasped on to her soul and drew her down, without struggle, into the dark place she disregarded so well.

oOOo

Severus had been having an awful day. Albus was riding his arse to 'find out what the dark lord was going to do next', Minerva was being a right real peach to work with, and Muhammad kept him up most the night… and to top it all off? Some third year, that stayed back for Christmas, cursed his brand new suit black. Every time he fixed it, it would change back.

The only thought going through his mind when he got home that day, was getting the blasted clothing off. Black reminded him to much of his past. A past that even though he believed he'd been forgiven for, still haunted him night and day.

He heard Hermione call after him as he stormed into his room. He couldn't handle being around her in his current mood. Severus would rather bite a bullet than to hurt her. She had found her way into his heart. But right now, he just needed to get changed and out of this funk before he took it out on her.

It was with timid trepidation that he moved back into the sitting room. He knew he needed to apologize for the way he stormed through earlier. Only she was gone. A sigh and a pinch of his nasal bridge latter, and he made his way to her rooms.

oOOo

Hermione woke to the starched feel of hospital sheets. Her eyes fluttered open and she breathed a sigh of pain. Only to see Severus lost in thought, holding vigil next to her bed side. Before she could open her mouth, he spoke.

"You have absolutely little idea, the multitude of emotions you have force me to live these past few hours." His voice was raw and laced with pain. Her voice refused to scratch out of her throat as anything more than a weak squeak in reply. Severus sighed and moved closer to the bed until he was mere inches from her face.

"There is little you know about me, Hermione." He set to work unclasping the cuffs of his blood stained thobe. "You don't know my past, the demons I have earned; nor the punishments I still believe awaits me in the grave."

Horror was all she could comprehend when, at the end of his speech, he lifted his bare arms to her for study. Large, ugly red lines crisscrossed his pale white flesh. Words could be made out like a phrase puzzle.

"I am a monster, Hermione. I have killed men, women, and children. I can't say I didn't enjoy my task back then and I can't take it back now that I do. I welcomed death like an old friend, but the thought of my punishment held me back." At this his voice cracked and so did his strength. "Hermione, my Hermione. I thought I had lost you."

Shame and regret filled her chest, competing for precedence in comparison to the throb in her body. Hermione was beyond words and could only sub-come to the tears and emotion. She didn't have some horrid past to hold her up inside and make her do this to herself.

"Severus..." She sobbed. "I'm so sorry." Even though the words echoed through the room she couldn't put enough of her into them to convey the gravity of the meaning.

oOOo

Classes picked back up the week after. She couldn't face Severus, nor Harry. Walking from her dorm she left early to avoid students. Word had gotten out about her trip to the infirmary. Rumors flew about her condition; everything from a mild case of depression to a suicide attempt. Hermione threw herself into her school work and comforted herself with her old habits.

She counted the clicks of her boots on the ground, as she made her way to Charms class, changing her stride to allow two clicks per block. Hermione was too busy concentrating on her feet to notice a stock of blond hair poking behind the next corner. That is, until she collided with the owner of that mane.

"Moodblood..." The infamous drawl sent shivers down her spine.

**Hmmm. What could he want now? I know I've been ignoring Harry and the war. So it's time to delve into the issues and start the climb to the climax… I promise to attempt to update soon. **


	13. Chapter 13

**I worked hard to get this out tonight. I got a few private messages asking for it. So here you go. **

**P.s I'm back home now, and I got help from the U.S. consulate about the whole forced engagement. My ex-boyfriend's family was responsible for it all. Silly Kurds.**

"I don't have a lot of time," his voice took on a tone of panic as he searched the hall for stray students. "The Dark Lord is growing impatient. I might hate you, and your kind, but if he wins my family will be in grave danger."

"And what makes you think I can do anything about it?" Hermione said, pushing herself back from Draco Malfoy with a sneer of her own.

"You have to go to Dumbledore, he won't meet with me." He pleaded.

"So let me get this straight, Malfoy." She gave him a look of distain. "You expect me to believe that you wish to crawl back to the light, even though you hide the dark mark on your forearm." for greater emphases she grabbed his arm, just to watch him sub-come to the searing pain.

"I will take a truth potion, anything it takes. Just save my family, Granger." He begged. "He plans to attack by the end of term, and Weasley is one of them now." Malfoy wanted to say more, but at that moment voices could be heard approaching. He gave her one final look before taking off down the hall.

Not really believing that conversation really happened, Hermione took off to the Great Hall to meet Harry. Even though she wanted to avoid attention, this was important.

oOOo

"Hermione, are you okay?" Harry said spitting out his toast at the look on her face.

"We need to talk, now." Hermione yanked him off the bench and half dragged Harry out of the Great Hall. Once they were a reasonable distance from prying eyes, she turned to her companion.

"Malfoy just told me that Voldamort plans to attack before the end of term and Ron changed sides." She said the last part with as much trepidation as she could. "I'm so sorry, Harry." It took a moment for it to set it, but when it did she wasn't prepared for the anger that washed over her best friend.

He didn't speak to her, nor did he heed her request to slow down, as he raced through the halls to Dumbledore's office. He tore past the mass of stone guarding the Headmasters office with nothing more than a glace. If it wasn't for Hermione giving the pastry inspired password, the stairs wouldn't have sprung to life, delivering the boy who lived to his target.

Bursting through the door, Dumbledore didn't even have time to react before the boy wonder's magic went insane. The picture would have been awe inspiring, if it wasn't for the fact that it was absolutely terrifying. Bright colors clashed throughout the room, colliding with random objects.

The silence following the outburst was just as scary. Harry's magic gave one last pulse, before he collapsed into a heap in front of the Headmaster's desk. Dumbledore magiced the unconscious boy over to the couch and, with a second wave of his wand, set his room back to rights before turning to face Hermione.

"Please have a seat Mrs Granger." He beckoned as he returned to his seat behind the massive desk. "Lemon drop?"

"No thank you, Headmaster." Still in shock, she couldn't even control the quiver in her legs to sit down gracefully.

"Would you care to explain what caused that outburst?" He probed, all the while his blue eyes twinkled brightly. Sometimes, it put Hermione on edge how he always spoke as if he knew the answer regardless of it being voiced. But regardless, she began to re-account the happenings of her morning thus far.

"And you know the rest." Hermione concluded her tale. At this Dumbledore stood and crossed to the hearth. Without consulting Hermione he took a pinch of floo powder and was gone in a flash of green flames.

oOOo

Three hours passed and Harry didn't show signs of stirring anytime soon. The diagnostics Hermione ran on him showed depleted magic and exhaustion, he just needed to sleep it off. Unable to sit still, Hermione walked up to the large observatory above Dumbledore's office.

Stepping out onto the balcony she looked over the ledge. Far below, the ground mocked her; called out to her. As if in a trance she couldn't break, her feet sought placement along the ledge, hoisting to the edge. Guilt and shame filled her and a sob rocked her chest. What was she doing? Why was she alive? She was worthless, while whole families were being destroyed left and right. Harry was a wreck, Ron turned against them, Severus was beyond disappointed in her, and who did she have? She couldn't fix anything; she was only making it worse. Closing her eyes she fell, leaving her pain behind in favor of weightless bliss.

Seconds before gravity delivered its load to the snow covered earth, she felt a pull at her navel, jerking her back into the air. Hermione let out a whimper at the face that greeted her upon being placed on the stone balcony.

"And just what do you think you are doing?" Severus's face was like stone and his voice was so low it delivered a blow to her heart.

"Severus, how did..." She broke off as he lifted her arm and displayed her charm bracelet for inspection.

"When you didn't turn up to class three hours ago, I became worried and tracked you down using this." He stated. "It seems like I was just in time."

"I'm sorry." Hermione lowered her face and sat down on the ledge.

Severus lightly lifted her face to his, the touch sent sparks tingling through her. His lips covering her own took her breath from her. Withdrawing he gave her a complicated look.

"Quit apologizing and stop trying to leave me." Severus said.

oOOo

It was another hour before Dumbledore graced them with his presence, dragging an unconscious red head behind him. By that time Severus and Hermione were seated before his desk quietly discussing the news and the legitimacy of Malloy's statements, only to look down and see a beaten and bloody Ron Weasley on the floor before them.

**Snaps (reviews) for uploading so soon? I am much more inclined to work on the next chapter if I get feedback. **


	14. Chapter 14

**I know. I know. I'm really bad at this updating thing. My bad, guys. My bad. **

**But, here it is. Enjoy my minions. **

oOOo

Ron was bound to a chair within seconds and Dumbledore's wand was pressed into his neck. Anger was rippling off the elder wizard.

"Enervate." He said with as much hate as he could muster, the twinkle gone from his blue eyes. Ron's eyes fluttered open and then set a harsh gaze upon the room. "Drink," Dumbledore prompted, producing a vile of clear liquid from his robes, shoving it to Ron's lips and forcing the potion past his lips.

"You forget, Dumbledore, I don't follow your orders." Ron spat the potion back in his face.

"Who do you work for, Mr Weasley?" He inquired, his anger abating as if he simply didn't contain the energy any longer.

"Your slut of a mother, that's who." Ron was unprepared for the on slot that awaited that reply.

Dumbledore was in his mind, ripping through memory after memory, before he could even whimper. Hermione wondered, if not for the first time, what was wrong with her ex best friend.

She grabbed Harry's hand to comfort him. He looked as if he was watching small kittens being murdered before him. What she wouldn't give to have the strength to ease her own pain so she could ease his.

Withdrawing from the younger boy moments later, Dumbledore seemed relieved and upset at the same time. The perplexed look on Ron's face didn't last, before more insults were slung at Dumbledore. The boy tried fighting against his restraints, begging for a piece of the older wizard.

"Aw, Mr Lestrange. It's so nice of you to drop by for a visit. I wondered why you put up such a good fight. I fear you have over stayed your welcome." Two wand movements latter and Ron was unconscious again. As for the other occupants of the room, Dumbledore turned to face them.

"I'm sorry you had to witness that." He stumbled over to his desk in a tired haze. "Please take a seat and I'll explain. Limon drop?" At their decline, he proceeded. "It seems that Mr Weasley have been under the imperious curse. By the strength of it, he's been under for a long time. When did you first notice a change in him, Miss Granger?"

"Over the summer," Harry answered for her, drawing the attention of the room to the newly awakened boy wonder. "I noticed he started ignoring anything related to the war. Anytime we tried to strategize, he would get mad and storm off."

"I see," Dumbledore looked pensive. "We will have to call a meeting, Severus. Please attend to Mr Weasley, he will be waking up shortly" He said before turning to his Phoenix companion and whispering instructions to her before disappearing into thin air.

oOOo

To say Ron was perplex and scared would be an understatement. Waking up to Professor Snape (or someone one that looked like him, because there is no way Snape would ever smile at him) was the bases of most his nightmares. Even more so, he was alone with said Professor in Dumbledore's office.

"Where am I? Who are you?" Ron asked, looking around for his best friends.

"Mr Weasley, what is the last thing you remember?" The Professor asked in a caring voice that sent shivers down his spine.

"Walking thought Diagon Alley after school let out." By the cold he could feel seeping through the drafty windows, it wasn't summer anymore. "Who are you?"

"If you must persist; I am Professor Severus Snape, former potions master at this establishment. I currently teach world culture and religion. You are at Hogwarts and the date is January 9th." Severus responded with as little snark as he could contain. Weasley always put him in a foul mood.

"Why don't I remember coming back to school?" Ron asked, ignoring the change in Snape for the time being. Religion? Has he gone loony?

"You were Imperiused by Mr Lestrange. We presume it was during the summer. While under the unforgivable, most people retain only a slight awareness to their actions. You however, were attacked by one of the strongest members of the Dark Lords ranks, which would account for your inability to recall anything." At the conclusion of his explanation, Severus turned his attention to the pensive sitting on Albus's desk. "I have been instructed to inform you of all the changes and everything that has happened this year. Your expulsion has been revoked and you will be required to re-attend your classes as if nothing happened. You are now an even bigger target now that you are free from the curse."

"Expulsion?" Ron paled.

"Just watch the memories and then we will talk." He said, dragging the boy to the stone basin.

oOOo

His shoes slammed against the stone floor, echoing throughout the hall. He had to find his friends. Rounding the corner he spotted the iconic bushy hair and sped up his stride. Suppressing her from behind, he wrapped his arms around Hermione and pulled her close, ignoring the brunette's fearful reaction.

"I'm so sorry, Mione!" He exclaimed and noted that the ridged figure in his arms relaxed. "Please forgive me, I had no idea."

Turning in his arms she kissed his cheek. How could she be mad at him, when he had no control over his actions?

"I forgive you, Ron. But so help me, if you ever get Imperiused again, I'll kick your arse." She huffed as he picked her up and spun around in joy. It was good to see a smile on her old friends face.

oOOo

Dumbledore looked out at the crowed of gloomy faces. The news that the war would soon be at their doorsteps stifled the small spark of pleasantry that accompanied a few patrons.

"No words can temper the terror I know can be found in your very soul, I beg your pardon for baring this bad news." The aging man said, trying to stand tall against the heaviness of his own heart.

"Is the boy ready, Albus?" A defeated looking Tonks asked, breaking the silence flooding the room.

"I believe that if anyone could be prepared for something of this magnitude, it would be him." He replied. "We must all be prepared as well. While Harry is a key factor in our success, it cannot be left to him alone. I have faith that our side will win and see light again touch this world."

"When will they come?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"Draco Malfoy has truly turned against his suppressors to give us valuable information. He received word from his father that he is to leave the castle by the 1st of March. They plan to strike the following morning." The gasp around the room was lost to the dark storm brewing just bend. That only left them a month and a half to prepare.

oOOo

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I will try my best to get the next one out soon. Although, the more reviews I get, the more I'm inspired to write. What do you guys think? Where would you like to see this story go? Much LOVE! **


	15. Chapter 15

**I know… Nothing I can say will make up for the fact it's taken so long to post this chapter. What makes it worse, is that I've had this typed up, almost finished for weeks now. But I do love your faces and I hope you will enjoy this chapter. We've only got a few more to go and we'll be finished. **

Severus stood across from the new portrait that graced his walls. The image of Noora sat in quiet slumber on a settee against the backdrop of her childhood, Arabian style home.

"Noora," Severus called out to the painted figure, which made a big show of being awoken before sauntering over from her seated position.

"Yes my Severus?" She asked.

"I'm sorry, I wish there was more I could have done to save you." He said with such sorrow that Noora's image appeared to feel pity.

"There was nothing you could have done. It was Allah's will, you must move on. Your allotted days of mourning are finished." Noora said with a tender, but final voice. "Now, how is my son?"

"Hermione has been helping me care for him. He's gotten her and I wrapped around his finger." He chuckled.

"I am pleased. Hermione you say? She is good for you. Will you ask for her hand?"

"I have a mind to. Her parents have agreed to have me over tomorrow."

"Well, Insha'Allah everything will work out for the best."

oOOo

"Dr. Granger I understand your reluctance, truly I do, but I would not be here to ask if it wasn't in her best interest and will." at Severus's statement, Hermione's father stopped mid step into his tirade and huffed himself into a chair in the Granger's sitting room.

"What do you mean her best interest? What could you possibly offer our daughter? You're 20 years her senior!" His voice rose ever so slightly with each word he spoke.

"I can offer financial support, a title, and protection. With the war going strong, she would benefit greatly from my title as Lord of the Prince line. As well as my fortune if she were widowed by my downfall." Severus reasoned.

"Is it not against the law? You're her teacher!" Harold exclaimed.

"Daddy, in the wizarding world the only restriction is if he was teaching a required class. A religious and world study class is an elective class. Therefore, we would break no laws if we married."

"Sweetheart," Jane Granger called to her husband, "If Hermione didn't want to marry him, she wouldn't. The fact she came with him and is indeed willing, we should respect her choice." Dejected her husband huffed, returning to his seat, he agreed.

"Welcome to the family Mr. Snape."

oOOo

"That went better than I'd expected." Hermione giggled as they walked, hand in hand, from the main gates.

"I honestly thought your father was going to strangle me for even thinking about it." Severus joined in her mirth. "I believe the only further action I am required to complete is to formally ask you for your hand." Severus stopped short before drawing Hermione near. He looked deep into her eyes, dropped to one knee, and presented her a box. "Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Hermione couldn't get the word yes out of her mouth fast enough. Her eyes nearly dropped out of her head when Severus slipped a six karat, yellow cousin-cut diamond ring on her slender finger.

"Oh, Severus… It's perfect!" She gasped. "How did you know this was my favorite stone?"

"I know a great number of things about you, Hermione." He said as he continued them on their path to the school. "I will make arrangements for you to have access to my vaults to plan the wedding. When would you prefer to have the ceremony?"

"Shit." Her hand flew to her mouth.

"Foul language is unbecoming of a young lady." He teased.

"I have to tell the boys." She said with dread.

oOOo

Hermione wondered the halls, thinking of how to explain to the boys why she would be marrying Severus. She almost walked directly into Luna Lovegood.

"Hello Hermione." Luna greeted.

"Hello Luna, how are you?" Hermione's attempt at small talk was ignored by the other girl in favor of the topic Hermione was trying to figure out herself.

"When did he ask?" Luna asked, eyes landing on her massive ring.

"Not that easy to ignore is it?" She laughed halfheartedly. "He just asked, on our way back from my parents' house. I have no idea how to tell Ron and Harry."

"Tell us what?" Harry asked, walking around the corner with Ron in tow.

"Sometimes any news can be like a muggle Band-Aid." Luna said with a knowing smile, before she excused from the group.

"What was she on about? What's a Band-Aid?" Ron asked perplexed.

"I'll show you one day, mate. They hurt like bloody hell when you try to take them off." Harry laughed.

"I have something to tell you both." Hermione said regaining their attention and running a frustrated hand through her long locks of hair. Unfortunately for her, it was her left hand. The looks on their face was all the proof she needed that they'd caught her mistake.

"You're getting married?" Ron asked first, turning red.

"Who?" Harry quickly demanded.

"You both know that, more Harry than you Ron, I've been helping Severus and he's been helping me with my issues." She stalled, taking a deep breath and Luna's advice, she quickly blurted out, "and He's sought my parents' permission and asked for my hand. I've accepted." Complete quiet followed her statements. Harry just looked at her like she'd grown an extra head. While Ron just stopped everything, turning from red with anger to purple before hitting the floor. His body hitting the ground snapped Harry from his shock.

"Are you sure, Hermione?" He asked, ignoring his other friend for the moment.

"Absolutely, Harry." She said with a confidence that spoke to the love she was beginning to feel for Severus.

"Bloody hell" Ron moaned, sitting up and rubbing his red hair. "I just had the worst dream; Hermione said she was marrying... Bloody hell!" he said as he came eye to eye with her ring, promptly passing out again.

"Ron might take some time to come round to the idea, but I'm sure he will come around." Harry joked, relieving Hermione's anxiety.

oOOo

Neville Longbottom was walking past the boy's lavatory on the 5th floor when he heard a muffled sob. His steps turned instantly toward the sound, but the sight had him stalling halfway into the room. Draco Malfoy was standing along the sinks, tear drops sliding down his face in quick succession. As another sob racked through the blonds body, Neville jumped into action and without thought, he pulled the shorter boy into his embrace.

"Shhh, it's okay." Neville cooed to sooth the boy's troubled heart. They stood there for quite some time before Draco pulled back and looked at Neville with a look of confusion. "Are you okay now?" Neville asked, obviously concerned for his fellow classmate.

"I continue to underestimate you Gryffindor's." Draco mumbled. "You have no idea what's wrong, nor do you care that I have picked on you for years. Yet you still gave me comfort when I was distraught."

"I don't care what you've done to me; you're another human in pain. I'll always try my best to help." Neville said quietly.

"Thank you." Draco said in astonishment.

"If you want to talk about it, I'm here to listen. I can't promise to like it, but I will be open-minded, even if it's about Voldy." Neville was relieved when Draco snorted out a laugh at his childish name for the evil terror.

"It's about my family," He took a deep breath before continuing. "I was born into this war, on this side. I struggle so hard to keep up the appearances. Do not mistake, when I was younger, I actually believed the rhetoric that my father taught me. I have realized that he was wrong, they're all wrong. I can't do anything about it now; I'm stuck in this role until someone from the light kills me." Neville just looked at him like he was a hurt puppy when he started sobbing again, finally giving in and hugging the boy again.

"It doesn't have to be that way, Draco. Our family only makes us who we are for so long, until be become the people were supposed to be. You're allowed to believe differently from your parents. There is always a way out, go to Dumbledore, he can help you." Neville said, fighting the temptation to drag Draco to the headmaster kicking in screaming if need be.

"I've already been to him. I sought out Granger to warn her. Do you think I've done enough? Dumbledore broke into my mind, thanked me, and sent me on my marry way."

"I'm sure it's enough, Draco. Just make a break from the wrong and set your path firmly toward the good." He said with a smile.

oOOo

**Please review. I can't explain in words how much it means to me. **


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